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"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.
Then
I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all
of
their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of
work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is
better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver." Jack Handy Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 400 B.C.
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning,
that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
fools."
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
her ."
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not!"
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
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